Finally a period in my post title.
Like the end of a sentence, it is the end of the blog that comes to with a period.

I leave.


There are a few songs that you need to absolutely blast loudly when they are played.

Never turn it down!

I want to die
I hate my life
I’ll never make it
I’m such a failure
I think I’m turning emo-nese
I sleep and I wish I won’t wake up
I’m probably going mental

For me, it’s all tounge-in-cheek, all this talk.

It’s finally a snow day! Oh my.
Last year, I believe I begun my blog on a snow day.
Ironically, I’m thinking of moving again. I’d like to have more freedom with my appearance.

But…I’ll see.

Today will be fun. I WANT TO HAVE FUN.

A letter I would write to you

Recently, I have liked you more. I’m not sure what causes it. You aren’t even so attractive, we talk about how you would be great if we chopped of your head. But I guess what draws me to you this time is my knowing you. You, you’re different from others I’ve liked. It’s always been people I don’t know well, a hallway thing that reallt wrecked my heart. Or so I thought.

So it would seem, knowning someone so well and not being able to have him is the real heartache. You are always next to me, always there, and if I could just reach out at  you and hug you close to me, I would be happier. But even if I believed in being just your friend, I could never do that without the unwrittten consent of your love.

I dream, I watch, and I hope so much for you.
I hate, I ignore, and I don’t want you.
I apologize, I laugh it off, and at the end of the day…

I’d rather be with you.


God, they have interesting voices, killer bass, strange and untried tunes…

It’s funny where I found out about them. I was on YouTube (of course) and I was watching this video on making your hair spiky of whatever, like a faux hawk or something ridiculous like that, and in the background the catchiest thing was playing. I watched the Asian kid with the blond hair use his Gatsby a few times more before I caught on the lyrics and Googled them.

And so I found “The Future Freaks Me Out.”
That was the beginning.

Today I sit procrastinating, downloading all their songs, because pretty much all their songs are amazing.


I’ve just been on Xanga.

And stuff.

SAT’s are on Saturday. Then biggest party ever. Oh god, EVERYBODY’S coming.
DO I need to get her a present? Maybe some money.

He’s gonna be there. I have to look pretty. I have to be pretty.
Okay, got it, I’ll just be myself.

I wrote in my xanga from what feels like a very loooong time. But, in reality, it’s only been 8 months! Oh, how time drags, yet passes us all by at the same time.

“Friday, November 28, 2008

what blasphemy

I am writing a new entry, as to keep my older self in the know of how I’ve changed. But really, I could just go to my wordpress blog.

As it is now apparent to me, I have changed so much.

I entered High School as a happy girl. You wouldn’t believe how happy. It was like I was a yellow, blue, green and red sun all at once,  that shines intensely everywhere.

Now I find that the general atmosphere subdued me, and I feel rather like a Moon. I’m still brighter than the sea of unoriginality in which we swim, but on the same token, I am still the same color as them all.
Example I give myself: I don’t act like an Asian wannabe, saying blasphemy like “gomen” and”kawaii” and spitting out korean as if I know the language. I still have my love for their cultures, though, just not as outward. I think that was for the better, bringing me back down to Earth from a cloud that I couldn’t seem to get off. But I am sad that I lost my innocence, my originality, my idifference to society…
I still have them. actually, they’re all just lying 20,000 leagues under the sea.


Then again, everyone has changed.

Change, change, change.
A word the used to mean those extra dimes in my pocket that I could happily give to a hobo.
I bet hobos appreciate change.

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Well, well, well. Xanga, Xanga, Xanga.

Not at all.
So I’ve realised I’ve been far to ambiguous and serious lately. But it’s thanksgiving! I’m so happy and sprightly today. So enough ambiguity today. I’ll actually write about what I did!

Anuj Anna came yeserday, but we actually did stuff today. Well, for the most part, he’s been hanging with Sameer, playing Halo all the time, but I think Sameer is happy to have someone who will play video games with him. The X-Box makes me dizzy. Those graphics are way too intense for my head. So, as they hang out together, I did the SAT for a fun 4 hours, only to get a stupid 1960. Why am I so stupid on multiple choice? Today’s test was especially bad, though. And I only have a week to raise my score. Yuck. I hate moooving fooorwaaard.
But then after the SAT we went to watch Madagascar 2. It was cute, it was funnny. I love how the hippos are like black people in our soceity. Kinda works. I love hippos. But I didn’t like how the hippo and the giraffe got together. I hate how I’m against that interraical thing yet…Oh, I’m just the biggest hypocrite. Anyway, during teh movie, I ate half teh this big tub of popcorn. It was all unintentional and I now feel gross. My stomach feels like a big pile of buttery goo. Ech. We still have to eat dinner. My mother is mad at me for eating so much. I think I’ll not eat dinner. It’s not like we eat turkey anyway. It’s all Indian food. And Indian THXGIVIN. Although, the only American things we have are a pumpkin pie and a free lasagna from Acme. (bahahaha!)

Tomorrow is baksetball try-outs, first day.
And all I can really say is that I am scared.

Just a note to self – The catchiest dirty song is for sure is
‘The Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang.
Don’t listen to it.

Why would you attack India? It’s like the Canada of Asia.

I’m praying hard. People in India, for the most part, are happy people who don’t deserve terrorist attacks like these. No country deserves attacks like this.

God, help the minds of people who think killing people is the best way to get what you want.
God, protect India. God, protect the world.
God, erase racism, sexism, terrorism, ism, ism, ism.


November 2017
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