Uncovered from a deep hole in time

I wrote in my xanga from what feels like a very loooong time. But, in reality, it’s only been 8 months! Oh, how time drags, yet passes us all by at the same time.

“Friday, November 28, 2008

what blasphemy I am writing a new entry, as to keep my older self in the know of how I’ve changed. But really, I could just go to my wordpress blog. As it is now apparent to me, I have changed so much. I entered High School as a happy girl. You wouldn’t believe how happy. It was like I was a yellow, blue, green and red sun all at once,  that shines intensely everywhere. Now I find that the general atmosphere subdued me, and I feel rather like a Moon. I’m still brighter than the sea of unoriginality in which we swim, but on the same token, I am still the same color as them all. Example I give myself: I don’t act like an Asian wannabe, saying blasphemy like “gomen” and”kawaii” and spitting out korean as if I know the language. I still have my love for their cultures, though, just not as outward. I think that was for the better, bringing me back down to Earth from a cloud that I couldn’t seem to get off. But I am sad that I lost my innocence, my originality, my idifference to society… I still have them. actually, they’re all just lying 20,000 leagues under the sea.   Then again, everyone has changed. Change, change, change. A word the used to mean those extra dimes in my pocket that I could happily give to a hobo. I bet hobos appreciate change.

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Well, well, well. Xanga, Xanga, Xanga.

It’s a serious matter!

Not at all.
So I’ve realised I’ve been far to ambiguous and serious lately. But it’s thanksgiving! I’m so happy and sprightly today. So enough ambiguity today. I’ll actually write about what I did!

Anuj Anna came yeserday, but we actually did stuff today. Well, for the most part, he’s been hanging with Sameer, playing Halo all the time, but I think Sameer is happy to have someone who will play video games with him. The X-Box makes me dizzy. Those graphics are way too intense for my head. So, as they hang out together, I did the SAT for a fun 4 hours, only to get a stupid 1960. Why am I so stupid on multiple choice? Today’s test was especially bad, though. And I only have a week to raise my score. Yuck. I hate moooving fooorwaaard.
But then after the SAT we went to watch Madagascar 2. It was cute, it was funnny. I love how the hippos are like black people in our soceity. Kinda works. I love hippos. But I didn’t like how the hippo and the giraffe got together. I hate how I’m against that interraical thing yet…Oh, I’m just the biggest hypocrite. Anyway, during teh movie, I ate half teh this big tub of popcorn. It was all unintentional and I now feel gross. My stomach feels like a big pile of buttery goo. Ech. We still have to eat dinner. My mother is mad at me for eating so much. I think I’ll not eat dinner. It’s not like we eat turkey anyway. It’s all Indian food. And Indian THXGIVIN. Although, the only American things we have are a pumpkin pie and a free lasagna from Acme. (bahahaha!)

Tomorrow is baksetball try-outs, first day.
And all I can really say is that I am scared.

Just a note to self – The catchiest dirty song is for sure is
‘The Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang.
Don’t listen to it.

Pray for my India

Why would you attack India? It’s like the Canada of Asia.

I’m praying hard. People in India, for the most part, are happy people who don’t deserve terrorist attacks like these. No country deserves attacks like this.

God, help the minds of people who think killing people is the best way to get what you want.
God, protect India. God, protect the world.
God, erase racism, sexism, terrorism, ism, ism, ism.

A sickness of laughing

Hola Paloma!
…Hola, senor.
Como estas?
Bien, senor.
Estas seguro?
No.
….Estoy enferma.
Oh? Por que?
No se, senor, son allergias.
Y estoy enferma todas las dias.

…Hehehe…

Y es comico, Paloma?
No, senor, pero..

Te ries.

I want to be a celebrity

Don’t they seem to have all the freedom in the world?
No matter what tabloids, newspaper, and the TV says about them, they can wander around with out fear. But I bet they weren’t always fearless.
No one is born fearless.

Or maybe they do pop in to the world with brave hearts and happy minds, although contradictory to the incessant screaming. But it’s necessary, the screaming is necessary to live.
The celebrities must close their doors and scream, just like their brave baby lungs did when they started life.

I want to be a celebrity, with the paparazzi, the make-up and hair, the beautiful house and wardrobe, the fans chasing after you everyday, the solace of a home away from the world, and everyone talking about me every second of the day.

But even a celebrity has to be good at something to be where he or she is in the first place.

There is no way out of working hard. Gah.

Glory will be

Show me the way to your heart
How can I bear hiding myself from you?
All I want is some happiness
Why did it come down to you?
No, I don’t think I can fight it any longer

Could you tell me why I like you?
As always, nobody can saw why.
Really, even I don’t know
Right now I wish to be led in the right direction
It’s scary not knowing which way to go
Calming down is not an option
Karma, come help me now

Mabe it’s just me, but this is so obvious, isn’t it?
Feeling like this before, I’m not so unhappy, I’m actually elated. But it’s different now, and apparently it’s better than the prior somebody who is now a nobody.

My writing is falling to pieces. God help me, I’ve only ever trusted in you. If it’s supposed to happen, let it. I’ll live my life like my heart wants me to.

PK 입니다

안녕하세요.
사랑해요. 그래요.
아랐어?

That’s how I want it to go down.

song: epik high – one